Value systems

Scenario 1: A young footballer visits your home. He’s a well-known Premier League player dating your daughter.

You:

·       Ask thoughtful, down-to-earth questions about his character and interests.

·       Stay neutral, calm, and curious.

·       Later remind your daughter of her worth, encouraging her to expect respect and kindness, reinforcing how lucky he is to be with her.

Now ask yourself:

·       What message are you sending your daughter about what matters most?

·       If this relationship turns unhealthy, will she feel confident to walk away?

·       Have you reinforced that no status or fame is worth sacrificing self-worth?

Scenario 2: The same footballer visits — but your response is different.

You:

·       Light up with excitement, immediately asking about his career and fame.

·       Talk about newspapers, tickets, and the car he's driving.

·       Later, tell your daughter how amazing it is that she’s with someone so high-profile.

Now ask yourself:

·       What message does your daughter hear about success and value?

·       If the relationship becomes damaging, will she feel pressure to stay because of the external validation? Is she being made to feel like she's hit the jackpot?

·       Have you unintentionally placed fame above your daughter’s wellbeing?

 

Scenario 1 is the grounded response. Scenario 2 is the starstruck response.

Value systems are so important amongst families. It sends a subconscious message to your children about what matters most. Do you celebrate achievement and status more than character? Do you spend time idolising celebrities and putting them on pedestals? 

This is a real life scenario and luckily the girl I know had the parents in scenario 1. Something didn't feel right and she walked away. Just like if it was anyone else. Not a hesitation to stick around with someone that didn't align.

This same girl was offered all manor of reality TV shows and turned them all down. Being on TV and in that environment was simply something she placed no value in. If it was the upbringing of scenario 2 most people would jump at that opportunity. To be on TV, to be known, to have people talk about you.

It's so important we bring our values to the surface and live by them. For us and our children. Be intentional. They are learning a subconscious language that will shape their decision making for life.